Oh, You Betcha!

Last night started off innocently enough relaxing on my couch with an ice cold fruit punch CapriSun while watching a rerun of Sarah Palin panning for gold in the middle of Alaska.  One short text message later I found myself sitting with a beer in hand staring disgustingly at the row of vodka shots lining the bar.  Within 15 minutes of downing both I had already pumped $60 into one of those cash-sucking-blackhole pulltab gambling machines that you only seem to find at bars in the Midwest.  And did I win?  Of course I didn’t! Not a thing.  Well, that’s not entirely true; I won $3 which I subsequently reinvested back into the machine in dire hopes to somehow turn my luck around.  Meh… So with little coaxing, we traveled down the road to the next bar where we kicked it off with more shots and a pizza that left the roof of my mouth melted and mangled.  Well one thing led to another and soon enough we were all out in the parking lot lighting off fireworks from the back of a truck.  Of course nothing can go off without a hitch, and when the burning Chinese Lantern managed to get stuck in the tree above the bar, we had no shortage of people scrambling to climb 50 feet up the frozen, snow covered tree to fetch it.  After a few minutes of video taping and laughing at Creature’s expense, we all went inside to warm up and carry on with the night’s activities.  Everything started getting a little foggy at this point, but I vaguely remember drunkenly Rock-Scissor-Paper’ing away my favorite beanie cap for a ridiculous green one that has, “Women want me, Deer fear me” printed in huge letters on the front.  Weird thing is, I’ve never hunted deer a day in my life…